My mind is the paper,
my thoughts the ink.
Lyrical laughter spilling from my mouth as I taste the words,
trying them out.
Repeating them just to see.
Each syllable unlocking magical meaning.
A whole world inside my head,
encased in earnest verse.
Breathe life into words,
speaking giving birth.
It was said, spoken unto me,
I'm god, and I said let it be.
Saturday, January 28, 2012
Slaying Dragons
Take a trip. A journey.
Quest beyond the front door.
Trek away from the sidewalk.
Skip over the beaten path.
A new chapter. A fresh start.
A bright new world.
The beginning of a new story.
Roaring adventure waiting beyond the next pass.
Just embrace it. Accept it.
Become. Believe. Acknowledge. Receive.
Lasting Impressions
Smile.
You know why?
Cause when you do, the world has to guess. They can't easily know the secrets lurking behind that smirk. A tinkling, gurgling brook of bubbling laughter welling up from your heart and pooling there on your face.
Keep them guessing. Because you're beautiful. And they should be forced to acknowledge your greatness. . .one smile. . .at. a. time.
Tuesday, January 3, 2012
From the Ashes: Reflections of my life.
All I want is honesty. That’s all I’ve ever asked for. Who can you trust in this world if you can’t trust your friends? God? Family? Everyone betrays you in the end.
I grew up in Helena-West Helena Arkansas. And for as long as I can remember, I never belonged. As an adult living far away from the place I grew up, my memories are still like nightmares. Horror stories read from the pages of a scary book. People out here look horrified by the tales of my childhood. Always, in my memories it is the worst place on earth. Even in the happy ones. The darkness of that place sucks at the edges, staining them with its fear.
I saw so many wonderful people broken and lost forever to its darkness. I was a lucky one. Even though I didn’t know it then, the way my parents raised me saved me from the same fate. But even with my education, I remember how hard it was.
My world was filled with darkness. At times I truly believed that I was possessed because I felt I could vomit and bleed darkness. Everything was in extremes. Sharp corners and dark shades surrounded me. My being felt dark, to the very deepest core. I was sure that I was quite insane and possibly evil. I had very vivid day dreams about brutal murder. I was aroused in a deeply lustful way by things of darker natures.
I began to feel cold and numb to human emotions. Isolated. I felt like I was separated from every person I came in contact with by a thick piece of glass. Unable to connect completely with even my closest of friends.
And as painful as all of that was, it’s only now that I’ve mad e it out, I wouldn’t change any of it because for the most part I LIKE who I’ve become but I’ve struggled every step of the way to get to this point. I moved away the summer before my tenth grade year. I swore I’d never go back. Then I took a journey that diminished the darkness consuming me. I found a light in myself that I never knew existed. I never would have found it had I not left when I did. And if it weren’t for that light when I returned later in my life, I never would have survived.
I swore I’d never go back but after losing my job and falling harder than I could handle at the time, I moved back. I had let my new light soften the memories of my home town. I let myself omit the darkness. Explain it away. I told myself it was the right thing for me. It was all lies. By the time I finally got away I’d already almost lost sight of the light.
Even though my light was bright it was no match for the darkness that had found its way by to consume me once more.
I grew up in Helena-West Helena Arkansas. And for as long as I can remember, I never belonged. As an adult living far away from the place I grew up, my memories are still like nightmares. Horror stories read from the pages of a scary book. People out here look horrified by the tales of my childhood. Always, in my memories it is the worst place on earth. Even in the happy ones. The darkness of that place sucks at the edges, staining them with its fear.
I saw so many wonderful people broken and lost forever to its darkness. I was a lucky one. Even though I didn’t know it then, the way my parents raised me saved me from the same fate. But even with my education, I remember how hard it was.
My world was filled with darkness. At times I truly believed that I was possessed because I felt I could vomit and bleed darkness. Everything was in extremes. Sharp corners and dark shades surrounded me. My being felt dark, to the very deepest core. I was sure that I was quite insane and possibly evil. I had very vivid day dreams about brutal murder. I was aroused in a deeply lustful way by things of darker natures.
I began to feel cold and numb to human emotions. Isolated. I felt like I was separated from every person I came in contact with by a thick piece of glass. Unable to connect completely with even my closest of friends.
And as painful as all of that was, it’s only now that I’ve mad e it out, I wouldn’t change any of it because for the most part I LIKE who I’ve become but I’ve struggled every step of the way to get to this point. I moved away the summer before my tenth grade year. I swore I’d never go back. Then I took a journey that diminished the darkness consuming me. I found a light in myself that I never knew existed. I never would have found it had I not left when I did. And if it weren’t for that light when I returned later in my life, I never would have survived.
I swore I’d never go back but after losing my job and falling harder than I could handle at the time, I moved back. I had let my new light soften the memories of my home town. I let myself omit the darkness. Explain it away. I told myself it was the right thing for me. It was all lies. By the time I finally got away I’d already almost lost sight of the light.
Even though my light was bright it was no match for the darkness that had found its way by to consume me once more.
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