My Burden

And with a word, I want you to feel. . .

Each syllable a command to your senses,

demanding you to yield. . .

Open eyes wide and see the darkness of the sky.

You’ve gotta see to traverse these trails!

Please my friend, heed my kind words, learn from you past.

If each mind that feels the gravity of these words,

turns solemnly and takes steps to learn. . .

Then I’m fulfilled in all my endeavors.

The power of my speech is destined to shake. . .

Break apart the defenses and grow through to your senses,

pushing aside the illusions showing reality in it’s crystalline light.

Hear me out!

The most important words.

Cause in the end,

the burden is yours.

Surreal

Memories consume my mind, like a dream from which I cannot awake.  The stars are raining down around me, cosmic tears.  As though the universe can feel the quaking of my heart and is crying with me, sharing my ache.  

Choices

Life is comprised of choices.  Which road to follow, what path is the right one?  With every decision made, three more follow.  Every step we take molds us into a new shape.  We are the masters of our own destinies.  Inevitably, as flawed beings, we will make mistakes.  And when mistakes happen we have no one to blame but ourselves.  A terrible but true realization. 

We all look for someone to place blame on, never wishing to accept that we laid our own lot.  In youth we are so innocent and free, never realizing how dark the world around us really is until we are forced to face the consequences of our choices.  

The world is a harsh place that erodes our convictions and leaves the nerves of our sensibilities raw and exposed.  And in this exposure the true trials of life begin.  Choices aren’t so easy anymore.  Nothing is simple black and white.  Wrong and right blur together and we must use the tools we’ve gathered to discern which path is right for us.

Poisonous Stain

Tell me love,
Where do you get off?
I fuckin carried you!
Loved you harder than anyone could.
My heart beat,
blood pulsing through me,
only to bring you happiness!
My every waking moment,
my every passing thought.
All that I wanted,
was to make it not your fault.
Point your finger,
assign me the blame.
As long as it makes you hurt less,
I can bear this pain.
And still here you are,
ungrateful husk of a wanna-be man.
Poisoning my mind,
with your childish stand.
Move on, let me go.
It's over and I wanna be left alone.

A new journey, together.

My heart expands. Heat fills my lungs. My legs are weak and I’m lost in those soft curious eyes. The person that you are confuses and intrigues my sensibilities. Always pushing me to do better for myself because you do better by me. Righteously furious, a man of unique character, you don’t back down. Standing your ground chest set for the things you hold sacred. The reality of you towers over me and I am engulfed in your humour, your smile a shock right to my heart. In the heat of that smile I find that I can’t help but glow warmly back up at you. The light you bring to my life cannot be dimmed by the shadow of clouds from my past. This new path set before me, a journey we take together.

More than Like

A slow subtle uncertainty.
It creeps through me.
In my blood,
Filling my body with electricity.
Stars explode in my eyes,
And the sun shines in your smile.

More and more,
Everyday,
Every way.

More than like.

Legacy

Words can’t capture this rush.

A headtrip engulfed in a body high.

Thoughts racing, circuitry in my brain.

I can follow them with my eyes.

Feel them with my mind.

Time warps and everything moves so slow.

Eyes wide, vivid colour pulsing through the air.

Ribbons of beauty and light.

Magic is real you see.

Open your eyes to every possibility.

Breathe in sheer potential.

The simple magnitude of that smile.

You can change the world, if you just believe.

Stamp your mark in the minds of the future.

Make a difference.

INSPIRE,

CHANGE,

GROW!!!

Our Beautiful Lie

I miss the beauty.
Words that didn't have to sound.
Time melting around us.
Stars dazzling my eyes.

Memories, playing on movie reels.
Flicking and fluttering through my heart.

Agony.
Like razors slicing to the bone.
Longing.

A laugh track tickles my ears.

Wasted Potential

I look around at my life.
Every wall strategically papered with posters…
none of which mine.
Opinions represent me,
the ideals of another,
adopted as mine by proxy.

So much spirit.
So much light.
A revolutionary locked in time…
living the lives of other people.
A rag doll,
silent; mouth sewn shut,
sightless button eyes.

Star embers burning my heart.
Restless soul, crying out to me.
Begging for a chance,
to be the person I could be…
So tired of rotting in this decay,
the stench of it all nauseating,
agonizing over my seeming helplessness.

This isn't me.
Somewhere along my travels,
somehow through the years…
This world washes through me.
And I know I can change it;
what I was meant to do,
a story I was meant to lead.

Take charge, take control!
Wake from that deep sleep…
the fairy tales lied.
Make the most of life.
Time for me to grab the reins;
can't allow myself,
to live a life stagnate.

Put an end to this wasted potential.

Overtaken

A simple smirk.

And there!

My heart's racing breathlessly on my sleeve.

What did you expect?

Smiling at me that way.

With those eyes,

and with that face!

You knew this would happen.

Your charm a magnet,

tugging at me playfully.

A bright glimmer,

sweet sweat glistening.

Heat rushes through me,

with your every trailing caress.

Trails of kisses,

my vision blurs.

And there you have it,

I'm yours.

Diffusion of Thoughts

My mind is the paper,
my thoughts the ink.
Lyrical laughter spilling from my mouth as I taste the words,
trying them out.
Repeating them just to see.
Each syllable unlocking magical meaning.
A whole world inside my head,
encased in earnest verse.
Breathe life into words,
speaking giving birth.
It was said, spoken unto me,
I'm god, and I said let it be.

Slaying Dragons

Take a trip. A journey.

Quest beyond the front door.
Trek away from the sidewalk.
Skip over the beaten path.

A new chapter. A fresh start.

A bright new world.
The beginning of a new story.
Roaring adventure waiting beyond the next pass.

Just embrace it. Accept it.

Become. Believe. Acknowledge. Receive.

Lasting Impressions

Smile.

You know why?

Cause when you do, the world has to guess. They can't easily know the secrets lurking behind that smirk. A tinkling, gurgling brook of bubbling laughter welling up from your heart and pooling there on your face.

Keep them guessing. Because you're beautiful. And they should be forced to acknowledge your greatness. . .one smile. . .at. a. time.

From the Ashes: Reflections of my life.

All I want is honesty. That’s all I’ve ever asked for. Who can you trust in this world if you can’t trust your friends? God? Family? Everyone betrays you in the end.

I grew up in Helena-West Helena Arkansas. And for as long as I can remember, I never belonged. As an adult living far away from the place I grew up, my memories are still like nightmares. Horror stories read from the pages of a scary book. People out here look horrified by the tales of my childhood. Always, in my memories it is the worst place on earth. Even in the happy ones. The darkness of that place sucks at the edges, staining them with its fear.

I saw so many wonderful people broken and lost forever to its darkness. I was a lucky one. Even though I didn’t know it then, the way my parents raised me saved me from the same fate. But even with my education, I remember how hard it was.

My world was filled with darkness. At times I truly believed that I was possessed because I felt I could vomit and bleed darkness. Everything was in extremes. Sharp corners and dark shades surrounded me. My being felt dark, to the very deepest core. I was sure that I was quite insane and possibly evil. I had very vivid day dreams about brutal murder. I was aroused in a deeply lustful way by things of darker natures.

I began to feel cold and numb to human emotions. Isolated. I felt like I was separated from every person I came in contact with by a thick piece of glass. Unable to connect completely with even my closest of friends.

And as painful as all of that was, it’s only now that I’ve mad e it out, I wouldn’t change any of it because for the most part I LIKE who I’ve become but I’ve struggled every step of the way to get to this point. I moved away the summer before my tenth grade year. I swore I’d never go back. Then I took a journey that diminished the darkness consuming me. I found a light in myself that I never knew existed. I never would have found it had I not left when I did. And if it weren’t for that light when I returned later in my life, I never would have survived.

I swore I’d never go back but after losing my job and falling harder than I could handle at the time, I moved back. I had let my new light soften the memories of my home town. I let myself omit the darkness. Explain it away. I told myself it was the right thing for me. It was all lies. By the time I finally got away I’d already almost lost sight of the light.

Even though my light was bright it was no match for the darkness that had found its way by to consume me once more.